Showing posts with label Crossdress Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crossdress Jokes. Show all posts
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Depressed Crossdresser kiss
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying profusely. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a kiss before you do it?"
"My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girls done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
"My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girls done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
Depressed Crossdresser kiss
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying profusely. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a kiss before you do it?"
"My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girls done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
"My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girls done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
Crossdress Hooker
A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says, "Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession. Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years."
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?"
She said, "No, I don't think you understand - my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales."
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?"
She said, "No, I don't think you understand - my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales."
Future Bathroom signs
 MEN ONLY |  WOMEN ONLY |  GAY MEN |  GAY WOMEN |
 BISEXUAL MEN |  BISEXUAL WOMEN |  CROSS DRESSER PREFERS WOMEN |  CROSS DRESSER PREFERS MEN |
 OVERWEIGHT MEN |  OVERWEIGHT WOMEN |  OVERWEIGHT GAY MEN |  OVERWEIGHT GAY WOMEN |
 OVERWEIGHT BISEXUAL MEN |  OVERWEIGHT BISEXUAL WOMEN |  OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER PREFERS WOMEN |  OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER PREFERS MEN |
 BISEXUAL OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER |  BULIMIC MEN |  BULIMIC WOMEN |  GAY BULIMIC MEN |
 GAY BULIMIC WOMEN |  BISEXUAL BULIMIC MEN |  BISEXUAL BULIMIC WOMEN |  BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER THAT PREFERS MEN |
 BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER THAT PREFERS WOMEN |  BISEXUAL BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER |
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft." (Karren how many of these do you have?)
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.
Crossdress Husband jokes
A crossdressers wife asks: "Honey do I look fat in this?"
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
Again: Wife: "Honey do I look good in this?"
CD male: "Of course you do, doll. I picked it out for you. I only wish I could wear it sometimes with as much style, grace, and dignity as you do."
Wife: "Thank you, darling but why can't you?"
CD male:"It's a little thing called testosterone. I can never be as pretty as you physically. It's really a drag."
Wife: "Aww...that's really too bad for my sissy isn't it?"
CD male: "Yeah...but that same hormone makes me crazy in love with you and drives our good sex life."
Wife: "So what's the problem?"
CD male: "I find my interior chemistry hard to balance sometimes...you know positives and negatives, that kind of thing."
Wife: "You have my full support and I understand your lament."
CD male: "Really?"
Wife: "Yes... (in a sexy voice) and you should know I was always good with chemistry."
CD male is watching a college football game with other "macho males."
Male#1: "Man Rich Rod's offense is really taking flight this year."
Secret CD male: "Yeah it's good to have a quarterback who can finally handle the system. Denard Robinson has great vision and open field speed and Tate has lpotentlypotental as well."
Male #2: "I can't wait for the Big Ten season to start, it should be exciting."
CD male: "Got that right."
Wife comes in
Wife: "Sorry guys just droping off snacks and btw honey thanks for our outing last night. I really needed it. You're so thoughtful." (Smiles and stares quickly at the shoes she wearing that he's bought after watching a chick flick.)
(Beat of silence) CD male: "Damn it woman! Your welcome, but not now! Not in the middle of my game! This isn't the time!"
Wife: Ok, ok sorry. but I just had to say thank you. I'm so happy to have a husband like you,"
CD male: "Whatever...it's fine." (She scampers off.)
(longer silence)
Male #2: "Man I've never seen her so giddy. Did you two have good sex last night?"
CD male: "Don't really want to get into that, man"
Male #2: "She was staring at the floor though....did you two go shopping together or something? Are you gay? (teasing and twirling) Do you have a purse?"
Male #1: "I fail to see the problem here."
CD male: "Yeah, dude we're watching the game...keep it zipped."
Male #1: "Yeah man, just stfu this is getting awkward."
(Male #1 leans over to CD male and whispers after a silence)
Male #1: "Man your not the only one that does that. (He winks)...The sex is really great isn't it?"
CD male: "Normally, I would say anything...but OMFG! YES! YES! Holy f*** YES! We get double the pleasure."
Male #1: (softly) "Yeah, that poor sap...I mean our poor friend over there doesn't know what he's missing."
CD male: "You know what they say fem guys have more fun."
(Both flash smiles)
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
Again: Wife: "Honey do I look good in this?"
CD male: "Of course you do, doll. I picked it out for you. I only wish I could wear it sometimes with as much style, grace, and dignity as you do."
Wife: "Thank you, darling but why can't you?"
CD male:"It's a little thing called testosterone. I can never be as pretty as you physically. It's really a drag."
Wife: "Aww...that's really too bad for my sissy isn't it?"
CD male: "Yeah...but that same hormone makes me crazy in love with you and drives our good sex life."
Wife: "So what's the problem?"
CD male: "I find my interior chemistry hard to balance sometimes...you know positives and negatives, that kind of thing."
Wife: "You have my full support and I understand your lament."
CD male: "Really?"
Wife: "Yes... (in a sexy voice) and you should know I was always good with chemistry."
CD male is watching a college football game with other "macho males."
Male#1: "Man Rich Rod's offense is really taking flight this year."
Secret CD male: "Yeah it's good to have a quarterback who can finally handle the system. Denard Robinson has great vision and open field speed and Tate has lpotentlypotental as well."
Male #2: "I can't wait for the Big Ten season to start, it should be exciting."
CD male: "Got that right."
Wife comes in
Wife: "Sorry guys just droping off snacks and btw honey thanks for our outing last night. I really needed it. You're so thoughtful." (Smiles and stares quickly at the shoes she wearing that he's bought after watching a chick flick.)
(Beat of silence) CD male: "Damn it woman! Your welcome, but not now! Not in the middle of my game! This isn't the time!"
Wife: Ok, ok sorry. but I just had to say thank you. I'm so happy to have a husband like you,"
CD male: "Whatever...it's fine." (She scampers off.)
(longer silence)
Male #2: "Man I've never seen her so giddy. Did you two have good sex last night?"
CD male: "Don't really want to get into that, man"
Male #2: "She was staring at the floor though....did you two go shopping together or something? Are you gay? (teasing and twirling) Do you have a purse?"
Male #1: "I fail to see the problem here."
CD male: "Yeah, dude we're watching the game...keep it zipped."
Male #1: "Yeah man, just stfu this is getting awkward."
(Male #1 leans over to CD male and whispers after a silence)
Male #1: "Man your not the only one that does that. (He winks)...The sex is really great isn't it?"
CD male: "Normally, I would say anything...but OMFG! YES! YES! Holy f*** YES! We get double the pleasure."
Male #1: (softly) "Yeah, that poor sap...I mean our poor friend over there doesn't know what he's missing."
CD male: "You know what they say fem guys have more fun."
(Both flash smiles)
Benifits of Crossdressing Husband
Good: Your husband's exercising and dieting.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better.
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better.
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
What is a Crossdresser??
A crossdresser is a man who would marry Elle mainly for her frocks.
A crossdresser is a man with Hers and Hers towels.
A crossdresser is a man who never wants for feminine company.
A crossdresser is a man who understands "Cathy" cartoon strips.
A crossdresser is a man who can open envelopes with his fingernails.
A crossdresser is a man who owns one suit and twenty-seven frocks.
A crossdresser is a man with Hers and Hers towels.
A crossdresser is a man who never wants for feminine company.
A crossdresser is a man who understands "Cathy" cartoon strips.
A crossdresser is a man who can open envelopes with his fingernails.
A crossdresser is a man who owns one suit and twenty-seven frocks.
Discussion between Son & his mother
"Sure! What about?" replied mother.
"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own one."
"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.
"Could you buy me a push up bra?"
"No."
"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"Nope."
"I think it would be just proper at my age..."
"I said no way...!"
"But all of my friends wear.......!"
Morris! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"
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